A Promise to Myself

I am Hagie Juliandri.

That’s my name and I’m sure it carries weight..
I’ve been compromised to realize that all this time that I’ve been living is so much wrong.
Now I’m cornered with so many question about

“what is wrong with me?”
“Am I really worth?”
“did I miss something?”

Well, Actually these are the wrong question for all the mistakes that I repeatedly done.
I should ask “Am I appreciating myself?” and “Am I treating myself correctly?”
All this time I’ve been overwhelmed by the thought that I need to be treated better.. I was wrong.. that is not the point..
I can’t make myself better by giving more efforts to everyone but myself..
I keep appraising peoples while I keep look down at myself..
“Worthless, Stupid, Selfish, Annoying, Loser, Useless and Asshole”
That’s what I always thought of myself and it’s hard to turn that part of me off.
for some of it, or maybe mostly.. I am like that.. peoples close to me sees me that way
can’t blame them of course.. its their right to have their own opinion

I’m overwhelmed by the fear of letting people down. . and that fear has lead me to letting lot of peoples down.. because I always try too hard to be perfect which I could never be but I always claimed to be.. and that is why I bring myself down..

but I guess now I know where to start.. what to change and when to apply it
I can’t be the person that everyone could count on if I can’t count on myself first
I can’t be the person that everyone could hope if I don’t have hope for myself
I can’t treat everyone correctly if I can’t treat myself better
and I can’t appreciate everyone if I can’t appreciate myself..

Step by step.. one by one.. slowly but sure..
Action speak louder than words..

Don’t try too hard
Don’t trust anyone
I’m in charge in my own self.. who I wanted to be.. is all up to me to whatever I turn up to
Don’t think of pleasing certain someone when I believe I can please everyone that matters to me
stop thinking small.. but never forgot the little things that happen to be crucial and yet we tend to forget it

We all have Hardships.. but all of our Hardships is nothing against the Hardship that our parents face to get us to where we started.
Never think that we are the only one who’s having hard time..
lot of peoples still need saving and what will I gain by lamenting my own hardships?
Eventually, we just have to move on.. it’s not because we want to.. but because we have too..
We don’t live by memories.. we live by seeing what we see in front of us.. memories just for reminder to not let the same bad thing happened to us again in the future..

I will change into a man that none of you could never thought I would be..
and that is a promise.. to myself

For Revenge Hiatus (2006 – 2015) Press Release

For Revenge Resmi Hiatus (2006 -2015)

Satu-satunya kepastian dalam kehidupan adalah akan datangnya perubahan. Sebuah perubahan bisa terjadi kapan saja, kepada siapa saja, dan dimana saja. Begitu pun untuk kami yang telah menamakan diri sebagai For Revenge sejak 2006 silam.

Perubahan personil, perubahan musikalitas, dan perubahan-perubahan lainnya terus kami hadapi seiring berjalannya waktu. Perubahan ada yang menyenangkan, namun tidak jarang kerap menyebalkan atau menyedihkan.

Ketika kami mengumumkan sebuah kabar tentang “terhentinya” perjalanan  For Revenge 2006 – 2015, Kamis (14/5) lalu, mungkin memang membuat banyak pihak bertanya-tanya, termasuk para For Revenge Family (Fans For Revenge). Imbas dari kabar tersebut beraneka ragam.  Berhembus kabar kami telah bubar, ada juga yang berspekulasi kami sekedar rehat sejenak dari hingar bingar panggung musik, bahkan kami tengah menyiapkan sebuah “gimmick”.

Secara resmi dalam press release ini kami sampaikan, bahwa kami For Revenge, Boniex (vokal), Hagie (gitar), Arief (gitar), dan Chimot (drum), telah memutuskan untuk hiatus. Yap, dalam jangka waktu yang belum bisa kami tentukan, For Revenge tidak akan tampil dalam acara apapun, sekaligus kami juga menghentikan segala proses kreatif bermusik For Revenge, baik di atas atau di bawah panggung.

Penyebab kami memilih untuk hiatus adalah karena perubahan itu sendiri. Perlu kami tekankan, bahwa tidak ada konflik sama sekali di antara personil For Revenge, juga di tubuh manajemen secara keseluruhan. Perubahan yang kami maksud adalah adanya kegiatan lain para personil For Revenge diluar band, yang harus diutamakan.

Sampai saat ini, hubungan seluruh keluarga besar For Revenge, baik itu personil, manager, hingga crew masih terjalin dengan sangat baik. Biarlah untuk saat ini For Revenge kami istirahatkan. Toh, suatu saat, bisa kapan saja kami kembali lagi untuk menyapa kalian dari atas panggung.

Ini bukan sebuah perpisahan, karena For Revenge sama sekali belum menempuh setengah perjalanan kehidupan. Selama manusia masih memiliki telinga dan hati, karya-karya kami akan selalu bisa menemani kalian.

Sebelum kami terlelap dalam tidur panjang, izinkan kami, For Revenge, mengucapkan terima kasih sebesar-besarnya untuk semua pihak yang telah membantu kami selama ini. Maaf, mungkin kami tidak bisa menyebutkan secara detail, satu persatu, tapi yakinlah, kalian semua yang sedang membaca ini adalah yang kami maksud.

Dalam waktu dekat, kami akan merilis sebuah single terbaru, yang merupakan bentuk apresiasi kami terhadap semua pihak yang telah mendukung For Revenge selama ini.  Terima kasih.

Hormat Kami.
For Revenge

The Essence of Accepting

Are you willing to put up with your partner’s bad qualities? If you’re not, leave. But the bad qualities are the test of the relationship; your commitment is to their bad qualities. You don’t have to commit to their good stuff. You just do that, that’s pleasant. If somebody wants to cook me dinner, how much of a commitment does it take to show up? Right? Or having my laundry done. I can deal with that. I can show up for that any time you want.

But, if they’re defensive in a fight, for example, that’s when your commitment comes in. That’s where the choice comes in. They’re going to be defensive; that’s who they are. Maybe you can help them, maybe you can’t. They’re going to bring their issues all the time. But are you willing to forgive the fact that they bring these particular issues?

Because one thing is for sure: You are going to be with somebody who brings issues. When you choose a partner, you’re just choosing which issues you’re willing to negotiate with.

That’s a much more mature perspective, one that is grounded in a kind of existential forgiveness: I forgive the fact that my partner is flawed. I forgive the fact that they had childhoods, which wounded them, and I forgive the fact that they had experiences that may require my forbearance to serve them. That’s what a relationship is.

The Art of being Selfless

The essence of selflessness is the essence of forgetting yourself. You stop existing and everyone else become your priority. It is their happiness over your own, and it is making sure that they are happy without feeling the slightest like you are sacrificing yourself. Selflessness is doing something which might jeopardise your own happiness. It is going that extra mile without pointing it out. It is never speaking about the sacrifices you make. Continue reading →